Neo4j desktop times out even though database does start up

I have a relatively large database that takes a long time to start up (in Neo4j Desktop), the first time. During this time, while the database is still starting up, neo4j desktop throws a timeout error message and "stops" the database, even though the actual database is still running on port 7474. The screenshots below describe it -

Here, as you see in the "log", the db has actually started up, but neo4j desktop has already thrown a timeout error -

Now, when I start the same DB again, there are conflicts in the ports, because the earlier instance was still running -

and this time, the DB does not start up and throws an exception instead about store.lock and other lock files being in use -

Starting Neo4j.
2020-01-04 00:26:20.995+0000 INFO  ======== Neo4j 3.5.14 ========
2020-01-04 00:26:21.177+0000 INFO  Starting...
2020-01-04 00:26:26.336+0000 INFO  Initiating metrics...
2020-01-04 00:26:26.646+0000 ERROR Failed to start Neo4j: Starting Neo4j failed: Component 'org.neo4j.server.database.LifecycleManagingDatabase@7ec3394b' was successfully initialized, but failed to start. Please see the attached cause exception "Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)". Starting Neo4j failed: Component 'org.neo4j.server.database.LifecycleManagingDatabase@7ec3394b' was successfully initialized, but failed to start. Please see the attached cause exception "Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)".
org.neo4j.server.ServerStartupException: Starting Neo4j failed: Component 'org.neo4j.server.database.LifecycleManagingDatabase@7ec3394b' was successfully initialized, but failed to start. Please see the attached cause exception "Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)".
	at org.neo4j.server.exception.ServerStartupErrors.translateToServerStartupError(ServerStartupErrors.java:45)
	at org.neo4j.server.AbstractNeoServer.start(AbstractNeoServer.java:187)
	at org.neo4j.server.ServerBootstrapper.start(ServerBootstrapper.java:124)
	at org.neo4j.server.ServerBootstrapper.start(ServerBootstrapper.java:91)
	at com.neo4j.server.enterprise.CommercialEntryPoint.main(CommercialEntryPoint.java:22)
Caused by: org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifecycleException: Component 'org.neo4j.server.database.LifecycleManagingDatabase@7ec3394b' was successfully initialized, but failed to start. Please see the attached cause exception "Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)".
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport$LifecycleInstance.start(LifeSupport.java:473)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport.start(LifeSupport.java:111)
	at org.neo4j.server.AbstractNeoServer.start(AbstractNeoServer.java:180)
	... 3 more
Caused by: java.lang.RuntimeException: Error starting org.neo4j.graphdb.facade.GraphDatabaseFacadeFactory, /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases
	at org.neo4j.graphdb.facade.GraphDatabaseFacadeFactory.initFacade(GraphDatabaseFacadeFactory.java:232)
	at com.neo4j.commercial.edition.CommercialGraphDatabase.<init>(CommercialGraphDatabase.java:20)
	at com.neo4j.server.database.CommercialGraphFactory.newGraphDatabase(CommercialGraphFactory.java:40)
	at org.neo4j.server.database.LifecycleManagingDatabase.start(LifecycleManagingDatabase.java:90)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport$LifecycleInstance.start(LifeSupport.java:452)
	... 5 more
Caused by: org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifecycleException: Component 'org.neo4j.kernel.internal.locker.StoreLockerLifecycleAdapter@e98770d' was successfully initialized, but failed to start. Please see the attached cause exception "Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)".
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport$LifecycleInstance.start(LifeSupport.java:473)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport.start(LifeSupport.java:111)
	at org.neo4j.graphdb.facade.GraphDatabaseFacadeFactory.initFacade(GraphDatabaseFacadeFactory.java:227)
	... 9 more
Caused by: org.neo4j.kernel.StoreLockException: Store and its lock file has been locked by another process: /Users/manishgiri/Library/Application Support/Neo4j Desktop/Application/neo4jDatabases/database-0d25176c-5c44-4d20-b195-1f46b6005ec6/installation-3.5.14/data/databases/store_lock. Please ensure no other process is using this database, and that the directory is writable (required even for read-only access)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.internal.locker.StoreLocker.storeLockException(StoreLocker.java:116)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.internal.locker.StoreLocker.checkLock(StoreLocker.java:92)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.internal.locker.GlobalStoreLocker.checkLock(GlobalStoreLocker.java:61)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.internal.locker.StoreLockerLifecycleAdapter.start(StoreLockerLifecycleAdapter.java:36)
	at org.neo4j.kernel.lifecycle.LifeSupport$LifecycleInstance.start(LifeSupport.java:452)
	... 11 more
2020-01-04 00:26:26.648+0000 INFO  Neo4j Server shutdown initiated by request

then you will have to manually kill the earlier instance -

This happens every time I start up the database.