I've used the SKIP option for CSV and XLSX however I don't know if it will let me skip the first 2 rows of the header. As a fallback, I could always just create a copy of the spreadsheet and eliminate the first 2 rows in the header. That might actually be the simplest option at this point.
SKIP with LOAD CVS does work. I just verified, but the header row still has to be the first row though. As such, it will not work in your case.
I have not verified, but I would imagine the APOC LOAD CSV may similar behavior.
Can you use column indexes instead of headers? If so, skip the first three rows and refer to each column as row, row, etc.
LOAD CSV from "file name" as row
return row, row...